


Aftermath

by NerdyHalfling



Series: Smol Naddpod Things [15]
Category: Not Another D&D Podcast (Podcast)
Genre: Pre-Canon, War Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29164755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyHalfling/pseuds/NerdyHalfling
Summary: The war against Asmodeus is over, the Green Knights returned to Galaderon victorious, and Beverly Toegold IV has to live with the loss of family and friends taken by the war.I just have a lot of thoughts about Bev sr. and the Kindleafs.
Series: Smol Naddpod Things [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826578
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Aftermath

They return to Galaderon victorious, but the Green Knights solemnly marching home from war are carrying the heavy burden of loss. Not everyone has lost blood, but they have all lost siblings in arms, and between the victory there’s a sadness lying thick in the air. They don’t talk about it, they just quietly pray in the evenings as they make for their return. 

Grieving as they are they still return, and there’s a life to live. They won the war, the legendary heroes defeated Asmodeus, and now they all have to live. Captain Toegold returns to his wife and son, and slowly peace becomes routine again. It does not, however, go back to normal, no matter how much the captain of the Green Knights wishes it would. He looks at his excited son, and more than ever before he sees all the ways the boy is unprepared for the harsh reality of the world. He sees Beverly junior sew patches onto his sash and speaks with such admiration of the cowardly scoutmaster and he knows his son is so vulnerable to threats. He sees Beverly run off to meet his best friend and is reminded of the old woman who is the sole guardian of his friends’ children. Nana Kindleaf has been Nana Kindleaf to Captain Toegold since he was a young boy in the Green Teens with her son and he has the utmost respect for her. Now seeing her, even briefly reminds him of the loss of one of his oldest friends. 

The Kindleafs weren’t just Erlin and Egwene’s parents, they were his friends. They were safe, and friendly and loving. They went to church with him and Martha, raised their children alongside his own son. They were his people, and along with the loss of his brothers they created the constant pit in his stomach that just wouldn’t let go. 

Then there is the girl. Egwene Kindleaf was the youngest Green Knight in history, and she was fierce and capable and serious. She was all too young for war of course, but war never really seems to care about that. She marched off with them, fought against the enemy with all the energy and devotion of any of her adult comrades. She battled with all the skill that was expected of their order, and in the end it was enough to save her own life, but not those of her parents. 

He speaks to her before they return. He is by her side as he delivers the news to her brother and grandmother. And then they don’t talk about it. They slide into their own routines, devote themselves to keeping order in Upper Galaderon. Like Captain Toegold tries to make the world safe for his son, Egwene throws herself into the job of protecting her remaining family. Months pass before Toegold realizes how tired she is, how it isn’t just grief, but also exhaustion that weighs her down. He can’t help her, he doesn’t know how. He is her captain though, and her wellbeing is his responsibility, whether he knows how to take care of her or not. 

Almost a year has passed and after a handful of attempts to check in with her have been blown off with dismissive assurances that she is fine over the past few months he has called her into his office. Martha and Beverly are away for the weekend, and they have the study to themselves. 

First neither of them speak. They sit on opposite sides of his desk and let the silence rise around them until they’re drowning in it. Captain Toegold doesn’t know how to be a father to his own son, much less this girl who looks to him as her leader amidst all the loss that is swallowing her. She needs someone and he doesn’t know how to be that for her. So finally he breaks the silence with the most concrete question he can think of. 

“Do you sleep alright?” 

She brushes him off at first. Then, as he looks at her with examining eyes she admits that she doesn’t get much sleep. 

“I can’t sleep,” she says. Her usually confident voice is almost a whisper. “I have to keep them safe you know, and when I do settle down to sleep I can’t stop thinking about what will happen if I can’t protect them, what if I’m not strong enough to keep them safe? They’re all I have left.” 

He looks at her, and he doesn’t see the spectacular paladin he’s come to know. He sees a girl who is tired and hurting, and Beverly IV doesn’t know how to help with that. So he says the best thing he can think of. 

“Egwene Kindleaf, I have seen you grow into a capable, strong paladin. You are a more capable fighter than many of your seniors, and you have a youthful drive. You are much stronger than you think. With you to protect them Erlin and Nana are the safest people in Galaderon.” He says it because he doesn’t know how to say the other thing, that she is a child and that this should never have been her burden to carry. 


End file.
